Hitch Your Wagon to a Star

So I'm super excited and counting down the days until I get to move in with my beloved Adam (aoumd) in Jersey City, then we'll be off to hopefully Bayonne or South Orange in October. We keep asking each other if 9 months ago either of us expected to be as lucky as we are today :) Of course, our friends and family laugh that they saw it from the beginning, as did I in some ways, but it works out much better this way. We had 5 years to learn and explore on our own who we are and who we want to be, and now we get to share that more intimately now that the time is right. I'm definitely gonna miss my family and friends who are here, but fortunately some of my good friends are in the NY area as well, so I have a lot to look forward to. And my friends here always have a place to stay in the NY area. I also love Bolt Bus because I can get back to DC for a dollar in 5 hours so I never have to lose touch.

Anyways, let me know when you're available to get together before August 3. Also, let me know whenever you're in the NY area so we can get together. My friends mean the world to me and with modern technology it's easy to keep up :)

So here's to the next phase of my life. The last time I moved (from Houston to MD when I was 11) I was excited to start a new life fresh. This time around, I'm excited that I can keep up with both lives and that I get to continue my journey of life with my best friend and soulmate. We've been looking out at the world together for 6 years and counting. When I'm 27 I'll have known him for 1/3 of my life!

In other news, my four of my cousins are coming in to visit tomorrow for the fourth of July and I'm super excited :) And I'm still job hunting, so if you know anything about NJ schools or know anyone I can talk to, let me know. Personal insights are always the best way to learn something about a new job. Peace, love, and happiness and enjoy the sunshine!

I'm so excited! I'm moving to NJ at the end of the summer with my awesome Adam :) I'll miss my MDers, but half of my closest friends are or will be moving to NY so that's super yay.

I know of a very good job opportunity at a Jewish religious school in Bethesda. It would be teaching preschool twice a month (make your own schedule) for about $25 an hour. Please let me know ASAP if you are interested in learning more.

While my professional future may be confusing and up in the air, but I know will end up where it's meant to be, I want to take the time to be grateful for what I do know I can count on and I'm looking forward to:
- Wonderful friends and coworkers I care about from the bottom of my heart - We know that even when times are busy we'll always be there for each other and once we get together again catching up will be great and easy :)
- The cruise in 2 weeks!!! - Wow :-D
- Tony's wedding plus Atlantic City
- Summer break :)
- A year of living a normal life
- Moving in with an amazing man
- A lifetime of growing and learning (with the amazing man barring any unforeseen circumstances)

As for now, I'm going to keep working my ass off to make every day everything it can be. We were put on this earth for a reason and I'm going to make the most of it. :)

Hugs and love :)

"What is one way that humans can reduce the amount of acid rain that pollutes the earth?" My student - "We can use vegetable oil or walk instead of driving."

This is a thank you to Adam, Meghan, Laura, Steph, Danielle, Sarah, my family, and my coworkers who have been so wonderful to me and I thank God for you every day. I love you :)

So the whole keeping up with things on a regular basis doesn't often work, but I figured I'd post for the hell of it.

I was really touched at parent teacher conferences when many of my parents were telling me how happy they are with everything I've been doing and how much their kids love me. It's a really nice validation of how much I've been working my ass off and how much I love their kids. I have lots of parents with very high expectations and to be a new teacher and get that kind of feedback is really nice. Since I always feel swamped and know I'm doing the best I can but there's so much more I want to be doing.

The great feelings at parent teacher conferences were definitely increased by the amazingly beautiful surprise earlier that day. I was having staff development time with my team in the staff development teacher's room and one of my coworkers brings in this gorgeous bouquet of flowers. I'm thinking they're for my staff development teacher because his wife has sent him flowers before. And she stands there and I'm not taking them and she says, "You are Rachel, aren't you? ;)" And it hit me and I was saying, "Oh my God" and "wow Adam". I was so close to crying. So I read the card and it says, "Rachel, wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. All the best and I can't wait to see you soon! Love, Adam." No one's ever done that for me before! My teammates said, "So where's your phone?" I was even more surprised because I felt bad that I'd been so all over the place when I'd talked to Adam recently before. With report cards, parent conferences, and increasing expectations at work, I was trying so hard to listen and be there but my mind was all out of it and boring. But Adam's thought symbolized everything I love about him. We've been there for each other for 5 years plus 2 months, and even during times when we didn't have much time for each other, we always picked up where we left off. And each time our friendship grew deeper. I've loved him as a friend for a long time, loving him deeper is soooo easy and wonderful. And I'm so damn lucky!

I kept saying I hoped someone would come along who would appreciate how funny, intelligent, caring, special, warm, loving, passionate, etc Adam is. That someone could see past the initial quirkiness (which I find incredibly attractive) and see him as more than "that guy who loves trains". Then it finally sunk in (after Adam was brave enough to tell me that he would be interested in trying us out) that it's been me all along. That our differences are only on the surface and we're so compatible! And we both love learning about new things. Now I know we're even more similar when I hear about a train on the news and call Adam right away to find out what happened.

Wow that was long. I guess that's just me trying to say thank you.

In other news, my big (Amy) is married!!!! Loved hearing about the whole wedding in detail. It sounds beautiful and she's very happy :) I can't wait to see her.

It's been so wonderful to have a solid core of great amazing friends. Life here wouldn't be the same without Meghan, Steph, Sarah, and Laura. And on top of that to know I have many other friends that I wish I could see more but I care about so much and love hearing about how they're doing. And when we do get to catch up it's great! Hopefully get to see Robyn, Jackie, and Danielle again sometime soon. Thank you!

And to top it off I'm going to get lunch with my dad. Family rocks :)

Off to enjoy the first real relaxation I've felt in the past few weeks. I have work to do this weekend (as I ALWAYS) do, but I'm going to make sure to take care of myself too.

Next time I post I'll have to remember to tell some funny stories about my students. Like the kid who had to go home early because his eye burned from the cologne he had accidentally sprayed in it trying to impress the new girl.

Please comment with something important going on in your life that I might not know :) Or just anything to help me keep up!

Can You Open My Safe?

1st Number:

The month and day of my birthday (mmdd.

2nd Number:

My age when I moved to Maryland.

3rd Number:

The number of siblings I have (legally - don\\\'t have to be blood).

	Enter Combination: 1st Number 2nd Number 3rd Number
Make Your Own Safe - Click Here

...Republicans and Democrats, Gays and Straights, Catholics, Jews and Baptists, Blacks and Whites and everyone in between can agree on.. this woman is horrible beyond words



THIS IS WRONG, PLEASE PASS ON.


http://media.spikedhumor.com/24864/insane_woman_on_fox_news.wmv




REPOST THIS.
OUR TROOPS DONT NEED THIS AND DONT DESERVE IT.




Hit reply to bulletin and copy and paste and do not let this get out of circulation people need to know about this.

I know someone in College Park looking for a babysitter for a 5-year old. Let me know ASAP if you're interested and I'll hook you up. If I don't respond on livejournal try calling me at 240-447-8031.

Do it if you wish :)

http://kevan.org/johari?name=Rachel+Lobel

Wow my room looks so incredibly good I can't even believe it. I didn't get it all done before break like I wanted to, but I'm much closer than expected and I worked really really hard. Feasibly, I could be done by a week from today and have it all organized and everything. Next steps of happiness but less priority are organizing my CD's, redecorating, and scrapbooking. If I get to those soon I will know I have succeeded. Then again I have too much school to worry about, so they'll probably happen during a break.

Hugs :)

So I had my second interview with the JCC today. It was with 3 people for 1.5 hours. Adam asked if I had char marks on my sides from all that grilling. It was rather grilling intensive. They asked a lot about what I would do in different scenarios. Overall I think I was on the ball, and some things I said they seemed really impressed by, but there are some things I either didn't have a very strong answer for or may have answered "wrong", especially with how to deal with situations with kids. I think the director of the middle school program might have thought I'd make big deals out of nothing, but eventually I think I made it clear that it's not that, it's just that you should deal with something when it comes up when it's not a big deal rather than wait for it to be out of control. "Dealing with it" can be as simple of reminding someone of a rule or pointing out that their behavior's inappropriate or disrespectful, not necessarily doling out punishments, telling the director, or calling the parents. But there are some things that should just be let go and you can let "kids be kids". My fear was that if you let something go in the beginning because it's not a big deal, it could grow until it is. Like if girls are giving each other kissing advice, eventually it could get into sex advice and giving each other condoms. But then again, kids do have a right to talk to each other without feeling like they're going to get in trouble for every little thing. I may not have thought about it too much before the interview, but I guess now I'd have to think about it more and would probably answer some things a little differently.

I guess there's no point in second guessing anything, since it's out of my hands now anyway. The root of it is probably that I have less experience with middle schoolers so I haven't really dealt with many of these scenarios, or if I have it was once and in a less formal setting or wasn't to the extreme. And that can become evident in an interview. But the other thing is that I just need to be confident in myself. Sometimes I guess I was saying what I thought they'd want to hear, rather than what I actually thought. Not that I was trying to lie or suck up, just that I was always aware that I was in an interview and it felt wierd to say, "I'd just ignore it" even though that may even have been what they wanted me to say or what I should do. Ok that doesn't make sense and I should just let it rest anyway.

On another note, I'm thankful to APO superlatives and APO in general. I was asked how my friends and coworkers would describe me, and the first thing I remembered was the "Good Listener" superlative, as well as the ones for spirit, and I said passionate and hard working and stuff. It's nice to have actual feedback to report. I should have said reflective too, because that's common feedback. But they were impressed enough by the good listener so it was cool.

Ok enough babbling about nothing. I should be cleaning my room right now. More people need to update on livejournal! I don't know what's going on with anyone!

Hugs :)

Wow got a lot done today. Used almost all the day productively and I'm even prepared and excited for my mondo interview. Only slightly nervous, whereas before I was rather nervous. It's with 3 people, which is a good sign since I don't think they'd bother to coordinate that many people's schedules if they weren't really interested. But it might mean some interesting choices as to which department or position I want. But more choices are better than none. While a job isn't guaranteed, they have enough positions available and it's early enough in the camp's hiring season that I have a pretty good shot. I'd love to be more formally a part of the whole Jewish community around here. And I'd get free membership, which includes gym, racquetball courts (!), pool, sports leagues, social events, classes, etc. So crossing my fingers :)

On another note, I'm making a lot of personal breakthroughs. Still have a long road ahead but it's looking bright.

Thanks to James for the book, everyone should read "The Perks of Being a Wallflower". Great coming-of-age book. Great book in general.

Hugs to Steph and Adam for calling/sending postcards/giving nice thank you card. Very much appreciated and warm-fuzzy inducing.

A heads up: I will probably not exist much this semester. I'm really passionate about teaching and plan to really put myself in that. I'm also really working on time management. So that means I will have trouble balancing both work and social life/APO, even moreso than many other teachers. I plan to keep in touch with friends and come to campus on weekends, but I'll probably only have Saturday nights to see people. Friday nights I'll see Hillel people. So I'm really counting on my friends to have patience and know that just because I can't talk or see you much doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you. And if I hesitate to make plans, please be supportive and not take it personally. It means that when I do make plans I'll be able to truly enjoy them, focus energy on others, and not feel guilty.

That being said, I fully expect that anyone who needs help, advice, or wants to talk will let me know. No matter what else is going on in my life, I always want to be there for people I care about. I won't get offended if you go to someone else, even if you're a best friend, as long as you get what you need. But if you think I can give you what you need or help in any way, please call, IM, text message, whatever, no matter what time it is. And if I can't help you I'll try to direct you to someone who can.

Hugs and goodnight :)

So I only have one week left of break. And I'm going to spend it all working. Have accomplished many things this break, but still need to do organizing, mostly of files, which was originally (and still is) one of my top priorities. But I've got distracted along the way. All productive things though. Including Wednesday I have a second interview with the JCC. It was going to be two people, the director of the camp and the director of the middle school program, now it's 3 (add on the head of the inclusion program). That'll be a little intimidating. But I guess it's a good sign. I'm happy it's coming up soon, because it was going to be really hard to coordinate with student teaching.

The MLK service project with City Year was awesome. Nice and relaxing with just Terri and Mike, although I was hoping more people would come. City Year's made up of 17 to 25 year olds though, so there were plenty of people to talk to. So I got a great balance of Mike and Terri and new people. We painted a very cool yet VERY abstract mural at a high school in D.C. We know it was a cooking scene, but we're not sure what the guy was cooking . . . It was so relaxing though, and distracted me from real life for a bit. The school really needed it and I needed it too. I'd love to do City Year for a Day projects to balance out teaching. Both benefit kids, but the weekend gives me a break from directly working with them and gives me a chance to meet people and have conversation just for the hell of it.

It was really nice to see Terri and Mike though. I have a lot of common experiences and memories with them and always like the chance to talk, although it really doesn't happen much. They're really good and unique people, which is refreshing. Cute, funny, and wierd too. Gotta love it. And got some inside perspective of APO I haven't had in awhile since i haven't been around as much this semester. I end up with an indepth yet limited perspective from only talking to one or two people in depth about APO. And they're both very knowledgable (sp?) and insightful about things.

Ok I really need to get to work. I don't have much time till school starts up again and I have a lot to do. I have to get my confidence up, which isn't gonna happen if I'm a lazy bum and let myself down.

Is anyone going to/want to go to the City Year MLK Day service project on Monday? It involves painting and fun young people. Everyone loves this project! But I haven't heard about who's going. So let me know :)

"I was thinking that I might fly today, just to disprove all the things that [I] say."

This is the first time in a long time I can really say I'm truly happy. I think God's really on my side right now. In that I really believe everything happens for a reason and in its own time, and right now is the time. I've been dealing with a lot of personal challenges right now, trying to be the person I want to be and accomplish my goals. And I'm really working at it and making progress. My self confidence is improving, I'm understanding myself better, and I think for the first time since all this started probably I year ago, I have hope, and faith. The reason today is the day is that my mom just called to tell me she and her husband are splitting up. Some people on here know the signifance of that, most people don't. But in cliffnotes version, it's wonderful news and it means she can finally become the person she has the potential to be. She's been working so hard to grow for a long time and finally she's grown enough to take this important step. The downside, and it's a big downside, is that it will be really hard for her and the rest of the family. But she knows that I understand that and that will help. And now maybe my half brother has some hope too, but that will take awhile. I hope just not too late. Some might say it should have happened a long time ago, but it wasn't time. I could have dealt with the stuff I'm dealing with a long time ago too, but it wasn't time yet. But today, for the first time in a long time, I have hope. And I'm happy. Scared yes, nervous yes, but hopeful.

The first positive effect of all this is that I had the first truly honest conversation I've had with my mother in a long long time. It felt so damn good.

If anyone wants to know anymore details or understand the history behind my mom's stuff or mine, you're welcome to ask, but that's up to you. I won't be hurt if you don't.

Have a wonderful day :)

After way longer than I thought, I finally finished my application/other required stuff for my summer job. Well at least the one I want the most (Camp JCC). And it's helped me get ready for applying for jobs in the fall because I have lots of confirmed references and a resume. Kinda sad to think that the other job I applied for never got back to me. Or if they plan to, it's sure taken awhile. That was at an organization that runs community service programs with high school students. But that's ok, I'm not really interested in them anymore because I want to stay within my certification age, which is 1st through 8th grade. I want to continue to build my teaching resume, since I don't know what the future will bring. I hope to work with the middle school program at Camp JCC. Some call me crazy, others call me smart for trying to get experience in all age groups. I like the challenge. Lucky for me, I hear "the challenge" pays more. (btw, I heard that from

I keep staying up too late. I gotta stop that. Fortunately it's because I'm being productive, not because I'm screwing around. Or at least if I screw around, it's not for as long as normal. But I still have to get into a normal work routine, and I don't think going to bed at 2 am is it.

On a side note, Ashley G called me today. It was really nice to hear from her. I really like her but we've lost touch, what with APO cliques, me being off campus, and busy lives. Warm fuzzies for friends, especially long lost ones. Adam called me today too from Hawaii. I felt really bad because I was kind of distracted at the time. But I know he understands. Super warm fuzzies though for friends who call from overseas. Benito did that one year too I think for my birthday and it was really nice.

I miss people but I'm happy that I've been working on time management and actually do productive shit when I need to. I don't even feel too lonely because I'm focused on my work. Definitely growing up. But I have a lot of work to do to be where I need/want to be. I will feel really happy when I have my self confidence back and finally feel like I have control over my life. Maybe then the right guy will come along and everything will come together. But as long as I'm together, the guy doesn't even matter. Can't say it would hurt though. ;-)

Ewwy randomly getting sick all of a sudden. Maybe it's the going to sleep too late? Or the incredibly amount of smoke that was in the kitchen after we made steak? Or the really really cute baby at the JCC job fair today. Or maybe I'm just sick and yeah. Maybe that means I won't get sick when student teaching starts. Yeah right.

Laura P might apply for a summer job with me. That's cool. I've never worked with a friend before. I was always jealous of people who did.

I wish I was in a relationship without actually being in a relationship. But I don't think that's possible. And I don't mean like dating without being in a relationship. I mean having that warmth in your heart all that time and being in someone's arms, but somehow still being able to figure out my own shit and focus enough energy inward. Problem is I need to go in the opposite order. I need to learn how to focus my energy inward before I can let myself be in a relationship again so I can channel that inward energy outward and not just give up all my energy outward and not keep any of it for myself. If that made no sense, that's ok, that's why it's a journal.

Good day. Hoping for another tomorrow. It should start well, since I'm doing service for the first time in too long.

Speaking of which, who's gonna do the City Year for a Day project on MLK Day? I'm pretty sure we'll be painting murals, which is really funy. It'll be totally awesome, but only if there are lotsa bros there. Or at least a few. So come!!! (And tell me if you're coming cuz it's nice to know, but most importantly you should tell Terri.)

Also, advice. I might have lots of options for summer jobs at the JCC (if I'm lucky). But I don't know which to choose. It'll probably be between the middle school program where I get experience with middle schoolers, who I'll be certified to teach but have almost no experience with. Another option is to be an inclusion counselor, which means that I'd be a one-on-one counselor for a camper with a disability who's integrated into one of the other camp programs. Which is great experience for the classroom, esp since they're moving to full inclusion, but I can experience with the inclusion aspect by being a regular counselor with inclusion kids in my group. Or I could do a sports camp with an age I like, which would be fun but probably not as beneficial for future teaching needs.